


The Special GW Edition of Whose Line is it Anyway?

by Natascha (ErisDarkmoon)



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Exagerated characterizations, Probably ooc, implied Yaoi, implied shounnen ai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 09:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5452079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErisDarkmoon/pseuds/Natascha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gundam Wing meets Whose Line Is It Anyway?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Movie and Theater Styles

"Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome to 'Whose Line is it Anyway?', the show where the contestants do improv and the points don't mean anything. I'm your host, Trowa Barton." 

Trowa takes a deep breath, almost smiles at the camera, and proceeds to use up tomorrow's ration of words, since he just finished with today's. "Among tonight's contestants, we have the largest mouth this side of L2, Duo Maxwell." Duo grins widely at the camera with a little wave. 

The camera shifts and Trowa continues, "L4's own walking blush, Quatre Reberba Winner." Quatre promptly blushes and fingers his pink vest.

"The man who competes with statues for stony faces, Heero Yuy." Heero stoically death-glares at the camera.

"And, The Long Arm of Demented Justice, Chang Wufei." Wufei reaches for his katana only to remember he was forced to leave it back stage.

The camera pans back to Trowa, who almost smiles again. "To start off tonight, we'll have a game of Movie and Theater styles for Duo and Wufei. But first, I need some suggestions of styles from the audience." Trowa turns to look at the audience with one expectant eye.

A jumble of shouts answer him, with one voice coming through more clearly. "Gone With the Wind!"

Trowa nods and scribbles, briefly focusing on Noin who's grinning widely. Another voice surfaces from the chaos. "Chick flick."

Wufei looks rebellious as he focuses on Hilde, who made the suggestion. He mutters quietly to Duo, "We never should have let Quatre invite them."

"Oh, I don't know, this could be a lot of fun." Duo responds just as quietly, with a mischievous wink. Wufei stifles a groan.

In the meantime, several more suggestions have been accepted by Trowa, who turns back to his contestants. "Alright, the scene. You are on a pleasure cruise in the South Pacific. I'll let you get started, and then I'll buzz in with the styles."

Duo and Wufei look at each other, then Duo pantomimes leaning on a railing. "Isn't it beautiful? Water, water, and more water, as far as the eye can see." Duo gestures widely.

Wufei stands woodenly still. "..."

"Look, I know you didn't want to come on the vacation, but still, it's good to get away-"

BUZZZZZ. "Gone With the Wind." Trowa interjected.

"-from the war. From all of those horrible Yankees destroying my beloved Tara. I knew you would come with me, Rhett. I knew you loved me." Duo finished, with a passable southern belle accent.

"Love you?" Wufei was startled into responding. "But I don't-"

"Oh, Rhett, don't say that. I know you do!" Duo clings to Wufei's arm. "Say we'll be together forever." 

"Frankly, Duo, I don't give a damn."

Duo then pantomines fainting and falling over the railing, dragging Wufei with him and then down into a crouch on the carpet. 

"Baka!"

BUZZZZ. "Chick flick." Trowa smirked ever so slightly.

Duo flopped out on his stomach, clutching Wufei. "Noooooooooo, Jack, you can't die."

Wufei stared at Duo like he'd just grown a second head.

"We've only found each other and love so recently. It's not fair." Duo breaks into sobs, still clinging with an iron grip to Wufei.

Wufei glanced nervously at the camera, then awkwardly strokes Duo's hair. "It'll be alright....Rose." He said the name awkwardly after hearing Duo's whispered prompt.

Duo looked up, smiling. "Oh, Jack, I love you." Duo leaned up and forward, clearly intending to kiss a Wufei who was going white and then red as he realized Duo's intention, when...

BUZZZZZZ. "X-files."

Duo drew away from Wufei with a suddenly shocked look. "Oh, oh, oh my god, you're not Jack, you're...you're...you're...a clone!"

This Wufei could warm up to. "Yes. We replaced your pathetic inferior Jack with the highly superior me." Wufei smiled evilly. "And you're next Rose. Your clone is waiting to take your place. All that needs to happen now is for you to die."

Duo did the only thing he could think of, he opened his mouth to scream.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Trowa leaned on the button. "Thank you. Duo gets points for actually playing the game, while Wufei gets points for rendering Duo speechless. Now for our next victims, er...contestants..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teaser: Quatre and Heero play the emotions game.


	2. The Emotion Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quatre and Heero play the emotions game.

"Quatre and Heero, would you come down please." Trowa looked at the audience again. "Now, this game is similar to film and theater styles, except the players act out emotions instead. Could I have suggestions of some emotions for them?"

"In love." Relena shouted from the front row, earning a nod from Quatre and a glare from Heero. Duo and Wufei both cracked up in the background.

"Angry." Dorothy, sitting beside Relena, smiled at Quatre as Trowa scribbled it down.

More shouts continued until Trowa interrupted them. "I think that's plenty. Now, Quatre and Heero, you're at a Laundromat. Quatre, you're the Laundromat attendant and Heero is having trouble with his laundry."

Both of them blinked, then Heero shrugged and stared at a set point as if watching his laundry. Then he frowned, and went and pantomimed banging on a washer. Quatre approached him. "Uh, sir, can I help you?"

"What is that washer doing?" Heero demanded.

"Um, the spin cycle?" Quatre suggested, dumb blonde to a T.

"Only if it spins by doing the limbo." Heero glared at the nonexistent washer while Duo fell out of his chair laughing.

BUZZZ. "In love."

Quatre proceeded to make eyes at Heero while Heero made eyes at the invisible washer. Murmuring to himself, "Maybe it's just trying to express itself to me." He addresses himself to Quatre, "You see, I use this same washer every time. We have something special."

"Maybe it's trying to tell you we have something special. I see you here every week, and...and...I want you." Quatre glomped Heero.

"Mmmph." 

BUZZZ. "Angry."

Heero pushes Quatre away, flinging him to the carpet. "You, you, you!" Heero shook in impotent fury. "And you!" Heero turned on the innocent washer. "You have ruined my clothes. This is how you repay my love and loyalty? Omae o korosu." 

"A washer?!? You love a freakin' washer and not ME?!? You self-centered, cruelly deceiving BASTARD!" Quatre worked himself into a tirade from the floor.

BUZZZ. "Self-loathing."

Quatre's face dropped. "Who am I to yell at you? I am worthless. My love doesn't love me, and loves a washer more. I am nothing, I am lower than nothing. I am the dirt beneath that washer, I am the grit beneath the dirt beneath that washer, I am-"

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. 

"Thank you. I think all the points go the washer in that round."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teaser: The Superhero game.


	3. The Superhero Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Superhero Game

"And now a game for all four contestants, starting with Quatre." 

Trowa barely contained his smirk as Quatre stepped to the center of the stage. "This is the Superhero game. Basically, we will choose the name of a superhero for Quatre to act out, and he will name the next to enter, and so on down the line. Now, what superhero should he be?"

Trowa listened to the audience, dismissing out of hand 'Coquettish-slut woman' [1] and 'Captain Candycane'. Finally he heard one he liked. "There we go. Quatre, you are Super Endurance Boy." 

Quatre blinked, paling, then going slightly pink as he thought about the possibilities.

"Now, what's the emergency for him and his superhero friends to have to solve?" Trowa looked at the audience expectantly.

Various shouts rang out, but Trowa singled one out. "World-wide blackout works for me. There you go, Quatre. The rest of you can jump in as you're ready."

Quatre sighed, slightly, standing still, then puffed his chest out, strutting. "Nothing like a busy night and 200 laps around the track to keep a guy in shape." Quatre winked at the audience, radiating satisfied male.

"I suppose I should check the world crisis monitor." Stares at midair, frowns, fiddles with a knob, frowns again, then smacks it. "Damn it, it's down. I wonder what the problem is. I hope my superhero friends arrive soon."

Quatre tossed a not-so-subtle glance toward the waiting three, then went back to smacking around the monitor.

"Sorry I'm late, Super Endurance Boy, there was a horrible traffic jam because all of the lights were out." Duo spit out in one breath, pausing for a deep breath.

"No big deal, Hates-Everyone-and-Everything Man. I seem to be having trouble with the world crisis monitor." Quatre smirked.

Duo frowned at Quatre, then focused his attention on the monitor. He fiddled, then death-glared. He pantomimed whipping a gun out, then in a perfect Heero imitation,"Omae o korosu."

Heero then leapt in. "I'm sorry I'm late, but my alarm clock didn't go off."

"Omae o korosu, Captain Smiley." Duo delivered in a glaring monotone, shifting his 'gun' towards Heero's head.

Heero pasted a smile on his face. "The world crisis monitor isn't working." Quatre jumped in, before Heero could speak.

"I'll take a look-" Heero said with a sing-song voice and a bounce.

"I-I am sorry I am late-" Wufei stammered out woodenly as he reluctantly stepped onto the stage.

"But you slept in because I kept you busy last night, baby-doll woman." Quatre's smirk got decidedly sly. "It's perfectly alright, not everyone can keep up with Super Endurance Boy."

Wufei choked up, "Kisa-um...I mean," Wufei forced his voice into a falsetto, "what's the problem?"

"Omae o korosu, blowup-doll woman." Duo monotoned with a glare.

Wufei stepped closer, but Heero quickly grabbed his face with both hands. "Turn that frown upside down, Baby-doll."

"I uh, I don't think I can help." Wufei fled off the stage, to get away from Yuy's fingers messing with his mouth.

"Well, tootles guys, I'm just positive that you'll have it fixed in a jiffy. And remember, SMILE!!!" Heero bounced off the stage.

"Omae o korusu, Super Endurance Boy." Duo slunk off the stage.

"well, I just don't know what could be wrong with it." Quatre shrugged. "Maybe I should just go catch up with Baby-doll woman so we can test some more endurance."

BUZZZZZZZZ. Trowa smirked at them. 

"Points to everyone but Wufei that round, making all of the scores even...at least even across the page." [2]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] Yes, this was actually suggested and used on one episode. :)  
> [2] Clive Anderson semi-quote. It was just oo...too...too... something.
> 
> Teaser: Party Quirks.


	4. Party Quirks

"And now it's time for Party Quirks. Wufei will be the host. All of the other contestants will find an envelope beside their chair which describes someone or something that they act out at the party. Wufei will have to try to guess what they're being." Trowa smirked at the audience. "I'll buzz them in with my doorbell. Are you ready, Wufei?"

"Yes, though a party without proper planning is an injustice both to host and guest," Wufei placed his palms together and practiced looking inscrutable and wise.

"Um, yeah, moving on..." Trowa's one visible eye blinked as he was caught off guard, then he pressed the doorbell.

DING-DONG.

Heero was the first to enter. White letters flashed on the screen, unmercifully visible only to the audience, that read, "Finnish Turkey."

"Gerbble, gerbble," Heero stepped onto the stage bobbing his head and tucking his arms to be flapping wings.

Wufei blinked. "Welcome...would you like some...um, bird feed?"

"Gerbble gerbble?" Heero bobbed his head in an eager, interested way and hurried over to the corner.

Wufei simply turned and watched, puzzled.

DING-DONG.

As Duo pantomimed ringing the doorbell, "Aquanaut on Jeopardy," appeared on the screen, and Duo started talking in a muffled voice as if he were talking from inside a helmet. "It's so great to be here. I can't wait to compete." 

As Wufei opened his mouth to speak, Duo held up his hand. "Wait, I've got to check my air gauge. Okay, now I'm ready. I'll choose Party Refreshments for 200, Alex."

Wufei decided not to speak, instead motioning toward the corner where Heero was flapping around. Duo pantomimed swimming over.

"Gerbble, gerbble." Heero greeted with a bob of his head.

"You forgot to phrase that in the form of a question." Duo's muffled voice said.

"I hope you can eat the goodies through your wet-suit, Jeopardy contestant." Wufei commented with a smirk.

BUZZZZ. Duo grinned and bounced off the stage. "Very good, Wufei. One down, two to go." Trowa pressed the doorbell again.

DING-DONG.

Quatre stepped up, "Fast food employee gone postal," flashed up, then was gone.

"Hello, can I-"

"Oh, and you want fries with that?" Quatre growled, making a gun with his fist and sticking it in Wufei's face.

"Uh, no...I was just going to offer you a soda." Wufei stammered, visions of Zero-system Quatre flashing through his mind.

"Diet or regular, large, medium, or small, AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Quatre went on a rampage, flinging things around and shooting them.

"Gerbble, gerbble?" Heero inquired as he bobbed and flapped his way over to Wufei.

Wufei looked from the rampaging Quatre to the flapping Heero and muttered, "Injustice, Nataku. My party is being destroyed by a fast-food grunt gone crazy."

"Gerbble, gerbble?" Heero inquired.

BUZZZZZZ. 

"That's two. Now, what is Heero?" Trowa asked as Quatre primly returned to his seat.

"Gerbble?" Heero flapped around some more.

"A demented turkey who thinks he's the swedish chef?"

"Not quite, but close enough." Trowa smirked. BUZZZZ.

Wufei paused as they headed back to their chairs. "What was he?"

Trowa merely smirked. "So close, but no cigar. No points for Wufei, even points for Heero and Duo, and zero points for Quatre."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teaser: World's Worst.


	5. World's Worst

Trowa paused for a moment to allow Wufei, who was still miffed that he hadn't found out what Heero had been in the last game, to calm down. When a rant no longer seemed imminent, he continued. "Another game for all four contestants, if you'll all just stand along the step there, yes, thank you...this one is called World's Worst. I will pull slips of paper out of this hat," Trowa pulled an old fashioned bronze helmet out, "and the players will act out something to fit the category. I'll buzz in when I've gotten the idea."

Trowa pulled one slip of paper out. "World's worst...politically correct holiday."

Quatre was the first to step forward. "Diplomatically-Challenged Appreciation Day, you gotta problem with that?!"

When Trowa didn't buzz them out, Wufei stepped up, "Injustice Day."

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ. 

Trowa plucked out another piece of paper. "Hopefully we'll get some originality now...world's worst Cheesy Romance Novel author."

Heero took a large step forward and opened his mouth- BUZZZZZZZZZ. 

He stepped back with a look of surprise.

"World's worst gundam pilot." Trowa interrupted before Heero could actually do anything.

"Eeep!" Duo was flung forward by Wufei.

Duo stepped back, then out again after a quick glare at Wufei.

"Oh, Heero, could I have a pink one? With a crown on top?" Duo spoke in a ridiculously high falsetto and giggled.

Heero stepped forward again. BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Trowa plucked out another piece of paper. "World's worst date."

Duo stepped forward, "Awww...Heero, how sweet. A gun in the face."

Quatre chimed in. "No, no, I love co-ed naked karaoke."

Duo leapt up again, "Onna, you cannot compare to Nataku."

Heero decided to try again and stepped up. BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

"World's worst original origami," Trowa read from the next slip.

Duo jumped in, "Look, it's Nataku!" and then promptly jumped back, out of reach of Wufei.

Stepping out, Quatre peered at something in his hand as if he couldn't make it out, "What IS it?"

Duo jumped out before Quatre could step back, and smirked. "Trowa, you folded a vibrator for Quatre, how sweet."

With a mental sigh, Heero tried yet again. BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Trowa rustled the papers around and drew out another. "World's worst pick up line."

Duo sounded off first, "Will you polish my katana and let me call you Nataku?"

Wufei leapt out after him, "INJUSTICE!!!"

Quatre pushed him back and stepped up, still blushing faintly, "Omae o korosu."

Duo jumped in again, "Hello, I-" 

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Trowa plucked out another slip, "World's worst sound to hear when you're about to make love."

Duo stepped out with a smirk and a wink at Heero, "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeero." 

All of the pilots winced reflexively. Relena exclaimed from the audience and was quickly subdued.

Quatre stepped into the void, and in a cold voice asked, "Did you bring the knives?"

Duo strode forward again, with yet another smirk, "Nataku."

Wufei glared, then stepped forward with a sly look, "Duo, You forgot the lube?!?"

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. 

Trowa was eyeing Wufei with surprise, then shook his head slightly. 

"Looking at the points, Heero wins this round." Trowa smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teaser: The Question game.


	6. The Question Game

"And now we'll play the Question Game. If Heero and Duo would come down....thank you. The idea behind this game is that they will speak only in questions. When it begins to get repetitive, I'll buzz to finish the game." 

Trowa focused on Heero and Duo, "If you are ready, Duo, you're confronting your husband, that's you Heero, about him cheating on you."

Both Heero and Duo turned to glare at him, but Trowa was totally unfazed. With a sigh, they looked at each other, then Duo nodded slightly, and stepped back.

"Who's Chris?" Duo asked in a far-too-even tone.

Heero sounded far-too-innocent. "Chris Who?"

"The Chris in your phone book?" Duo prompted.

"What were you doing in my phone book?" Heero sensed a way to change the subject.

Duo tried to look innocent. "Looking for your mother's number?"

"Were you spying on me?" Heero glared.

Duo batted his eyelashes. "Would I do that?" 

Heero managed to look hurt. "Don't you trust me?"

"Why won't you tell me who Chris is?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Why are there stars and exclamation points next to the name?"

"Are you sure they're stars?" Heero stepped closer to look, running caressing hands over Duo's shoulders, then down onto his chest.

Duo jerked away. "Are you trying to distract me?"

"Was it working?" Heero smirked, confidently.

Duo glared, then asked in a catty tone. "Do you do that to Chris?"

Heero gave an exhausted sigh. "Does it really matter who Chris is?"

"Are you nuts!?" Duo said, with a look that practically screamed yes.

"Would it help if I told you I wouldn't see him anymore?"

"Why were you seeing him at all?"

"Don't you want me relaxed?"

"He helps relax you?!?" Duo's voice rose steadily.

"Didn't you say I need help?" Heero's voice was still level.

"Did I say go to someone ELSE?" Duo was getting more and more worked up.

Heero was quiet for a moment, then looked at Duo in puzzlement. "But, don't you go to a masseuse to relax?"

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. 

Trowa was silent for a moment as well. "As that wasn't acting for either of you, no points are awarded this round."

Both Duo and Heero froze halfway back to their chairs and turned slowly to look at Trowa. Quatre coughed nervously.

Trowa's visible eye widened slightly, and he hurried on, "We're out of time. Tonight's winners are Quatre and Duo, and they will read the credits in a style of my choosing, which will be as door-to-door salesmen who aren't making many sales. Thank you to our contestants, and Good night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally done. All that remains is what happens backstage once the camera's off. A few too many bruised egos, perhaps?


End file.
